December 22, 2011

Holiday Travel Monster

“Flight number: Very Flight You’re Supposed To Be On -- is delayed. Please feel free to mill about aimlessly, and be sure to visit our convenience store to buy all of those accessories that you forgot to pack!”

“Man, did you hear?  The traffic on that big highway you’re taking is insane today!  Too bad you didn’t leave before dawn!”

“Mooooom!  Daaaaad!  I was putting Sparky in the car and he ran off with a lady dog!  We’d better find hiiiim!”

Your headache is a living, breathing thing.  It glares at you while you try to wait patiently to get anywhere.  Anywhere at all.  Why can’t the holidays be different for each family?  “The Johnsons? Yes, here you are. Your holidays will be February 18th through the 22nd this year; make sure to book your tickets early, and enjoy your uncomplicated travel arrangements!”

Instead, literally everyone and their mother is trying to get to the complete other side of the country with half of what they own, plus gifts for every member of their extended family on the same day!

Holiday Travel Monster understands that today is going to be one of the top ten worst travel days of this year, and he’s hard at work doing the one thing that will make it all worthwhile.  He’s busy at your family’s house whipping everyone into a “we’ve been missing you all year” frenzy.  So the entire time that you’re facing delay after delay, he’s busy reminding your Aunt Robyn about that portrait you drew her a few years back, or your cousin Kinion about the time you met in New York and hit all the great cafes.  Such a thoughtful person! Wasn't that a nice time?

When you finally do drag yourself into the front room, wanting nothing more than to collapse onto a couch and never stand again, you’re met with a host of people who’ve been missing you desperately.  The resulting love tsunami has you standing for far longer than you ever thought you could, and you find yourself enjoying drinks and stories well into the night.  Eyes twinkling in the corner, Holiday Travel Monster knows that it's true what they say: there's no place like home for the holidays.