December 17, 2011

Holiday Fashion Monster

What are you wearing?  Seriously.  What is this ensemble you’re rocking today?  Have you looked in a mirror?

Are felt reindeer horns appropriate office attire?  And listen...I’m not sure the light-up sweater is energy efficient... Don't those holly earrings weigh down your earlobes?  And please, please, please explain to me the tinsel poncho you’re packing for the holiday party!!

Look at your life, look at your choices.  Nothing that has ever happened to you should authorize this sort of fashion insanity!  I don’t care how old you are.

From the beginning you really didn't have a prayer.  Long before I got a look at you, Holiday Fashion Monster had you firmly in her grip.  As you pulled hidden holiday treasures from drawers and closet organizers, she reveled in every new find: a Christmas cat cardigan, Nativity knickers, snowflake sneakers, the Blitzen bolo tie!  The both of you so drunk on the holiday cheeriness of it all you never realized how insane it all became!

There’s good news, however -- no one else will realize the insanity, either.  Holiday Fashion Monster has a serious grip on the entire population during this particular season.  Despite the fact that “fashion” shouldn't even remotely be in her name, she manages to get us all dressing insanely this time of year.   I suppose it’s all part and parcel of a season that is all about love and enthusiasm rather than rigid social norms or customs.  In any case, do your best to “make it work”.  Facebook photos can prove embarrassing come January.

No comments:

Post a Comment

Please be kind and appropriate with your comments. Thank you!